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Adi & Praja 113

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Adi and Praja

Chapter 9

Issue 13: Shano’s change

Still, all the refined types of feelings plants can have he recognized as subtle feelings which had always existed inside himself, but only now he became really aware of them. It was a joy. He felt emotionally richer as a human being, and more vital.


(shano’s change)

Then, one morning he woke up. He was gloomy, depressive. He missed something. He didn’t know what. He was more expert about minerals and plants than anyone you will find among millions of people. He had tasted all happinesses of their subtle feelings. But there was something … ? He looked back on his own life and realized how fortunate he was, to be born in his village, to be with his ‘grandparents’, his freedom to travel the world, the many beautiful people he had met, the many challenging situations he had faced. But still … ? Should he go on like this? Then it became all clear before him: He had enjoyed, he had experienced, he had learned, almost everything he could imagine one could enjoy in the world. He had grown tremendously inside … but he had never done anything that was really useful for other people. He had been always kind and helpful, but he had never done anything concrete, except for himself. He had always hoped to meet the gods, which would no doubt have been his highest experience, but wherever he had sought, he had never met them. What use did it have for society, his parents, his fiends he had left behind, that he was enjoying and experiencing and living intensely? He felt that he was useless. He was not, of course, but in his present mood he felt it like that. We, the author  and the readers now I tell them – know that he has many decades of life, still unknown, before him, and these last six years that he ‘really lived’ were only the beginning.

He thought that he should go to his old city, or to another city, where he could be of use. Maybe he could become a doctor, so that he could relieve the suffering of thousands of people. Or he could become an environmentalist, explaining the subtleties and fine beauties of nature to people, evoking respect and awe for all that lives and thus create a kinder attitude among humankind. Or he could just go and do physical work, perhaps collecting garbage, or building houses – all would be more helpful for human society and the world than his lonely pilgrimage through mountains, villages, town and cities, he thought. Deep inside he wished to become a musician who would play such beautiful music, touching all fine human feelings, or touching the divine essence, even the divine essence of negative feelings – as people interpreted some feelings at the surface of their awareness. He would touch the people’s feelings in such away that they even saw the beauty of their problems, and their minds would become calm and courageous. He would play love songs, evoking universal love, and he would play sad songs to make people aware of the love and compassion that others need. He felt, as it were, all the pains and sorrows of the world in his breast, and wished he could wipe them away, clear away the weeds of the many illusionary and false ideas that ruled the world of human minds. Perhaps he had to become a philosopher to distinguish between what is helpful and what creates mental bondage and suffering. He felt that from now on, his future had taken a different course. He didn’t know in detail – it could be anything. But he wanted to be of use to others – not only now, but for ever.

He continued his walk as normal, enjoying nature as ever, but his inner being had changed. It was as if he saw everything in a different light now. Everything he had learned and experienced seemed to be only a preparation for an unknown future, which would be a future of service to the billions of other beings rather than to himself alone. It was an inner decision. But at this moment he was in the middle of a mountain range, and the only thing he could do was to walk on. And he also understood that he would have to learn and understand much more before he could be of actual use. He did no longer do his experiments.

Instead he started doing meditations. He could not do anything concrete in the society at this moment, being alone in the mountains. But he decided that he could work on his own inner positive development to become a compassionate soul. He liked the sun, it was the great light and life-giver of all nature, and everything in and on all planets turned around the sun. The sun definitely must be the greatest center of goodness and the most worthy of reverence in our solar system. So he sat down on a quiet place, often even before sunrise, but also in between his walks during the daytime, when his mind was clear and calm. He would breathe calmly in and out and close his eyes. He counted his breaths up to ten and then again from one to ten, trying to keep his mind undisturbed, only feeling his breathe go in and out. That was not easy in the beginning, because minds are used to running and flying around continuously. Then he would sit facing the sun with his eyes closed, or when the sun was behind clouds, he just imagined it in the space just a few meters before his closed eyes. He thought of the sun as a divine being, an intelligent being, a giving being, radiating light and intelligence to all sides, for everyone, for each being, throughout the whole solar system. He thought calmly, or rather he felt the thought, that the sun was radiating energy for the good of all beings, without distinction. It would shine on all human beings, weather they were holy men or drunkards, rich or poor, babies and graybeards, in this country or that country, on the land, in the sea and in the city – always with the same intention, without making difference. Even a drunkard or drug addict, would be happy to feel the rays of the sun in the morning, warming his body, ending his night. He would, at least for some time, feel a spark of hope. The sun gives, but the energies always turn back to it, containing the filth of everything the sun had touched, and the sun would, like in a gigantic alchemistic process, rework and clean everything – recycle it. Holy men meditated at sunrise, greeted the sun, thanked the sun – because they knew that the sun does not only give perceptible light and warmth, but also living energy, and that the sun is the focal point and center for us of cosmic intelligence, and that the sun could really help all those who asked him to lead them to greater insight, higher intelligence, to lead you from ignorance to knowledge, from mortality to immortality. So while he was sitting there he imagined, visualized, without pressure, without effort, all these properties of the sun, for all beings alike. He himself wanted to be like the sun: giving hope and warmth and wisdom to all who came within the reach of his heart. After imagining, visualizing this for a while, maybe ten minutes – it could be two minutes or an hour, he would, in his imagination, let the sun rise to straight above its head, and feel the warmth and light and intelligence shine on top of his head. Slowly he let the sun come down like a fluid, into every part and limb of his body. Then he would imagine the sun to come down from above into his body, and every cell, every atom inside his body would be bathed in sunlight, in goodness, in health and in happiness. and he would than unify his own heart with the goodness and intelligence of the sun, and thus he himself became shining like the sun for the pleasure and good of all beings. It enhanced his intelligence too.

After a while he would stop, open his eyes, look around to nature or people, stretch his body, and continue his normal doings

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